Friends (and other worldly creatures),
Since I have sooo much time on my hands right now, why not another post! Yeeeeeah..Real talk: I cannot focus worth beans right now. I met with my adviser today and I was so pysched because I'm pretty much done. As in done, done. At the end of the semester I will have finished all the classes for my major and my minor. So next semester I can take some easy fun classes..WRONG! I should take Spanish and HTML, all things that can brush up my resume. And I need to look into grad school programs, PhD, government jobs...SLOW YOUR ROLL MAN! And that's exactly what I told my parents. Whatever happened to having some breathing room huh?! Don't I atleast get that?! Nope. Way too much running on my mind to focus on Burke, or post-modernism, or even first generation college students and how they should be surveyed...all topics that I should currently be studying or working on at the moment. But seriously, people keep advising me, telling me what to apply to, what not to do, that I'll figure it out. Shut your gob! You don't know what the future holds. Hell that's why it is called the future! I guess "normal" brown girls don't freak out like this. But YOU knew a long time ago that I was far from "normal."
And now all of a sudden I'm flipping starvin' marvin'. Marvelous. On that note..Peace. W'Salaam.
Starvin' Marvin' may become my new alter ego, especially now that the race is over and I must begin eating like a normal person again.
ReplyDeleteIn response to your thoughts:
You are refreshingly free of bull. Good for you for being freaked out and expressing it instead of acting like you'll have your act together right after graduation for the sake of having perspective, thereby feeding an ego and/or confidence that you do not currently have. I appreciate your clear, true-to-this-classic-dilemma response.
With that said, you DO overlook that you're very capable, so at the risk of being one of those optimistic friends that just claims it will all work out, I'd like to mention two things:
1) As you know, loved ones are dichotomous (BOOM: vocabulary). Right now you're feeling their opinions a bit more than their love, but I believe the critiques will ebb when you have graduated, made your next decision, and moved. Maybe they won't ebb a lot, but... hey.
2) You don't make irresponsible and irreversible decisions. You just don't do that. So, with all due respect, I'd like to illustrate a situation I believe is 100% impossible in an attempt to lighten your mood:
- Bushra Zaman graduates and, at a loss for what to do next, decides to hitch a ride with a mysterious, oddly jittery and emotionally confusing man because she finds him eccentric and intriguing.
- He gets her addicted to drugs and she ends up on the streets claiming she's Jesus Christ and identifying feral cats as her disciples.
- After surviving withdrawls and coming to (what's left of) her senses, Bushra refuses to take responsibility for herself.
- Even her cats abandon her.
- Bushra starts asking for handouts and making ridiculous excuses like, "I'm a princess from Bangladesh and, if you give me 50 dollars toward a flight ticket now, I will take down your address and return the money, with interest, once I get home."
- I could go on but I think you can imagine what happens next.
To summarize: since you're basically all set, I think you should make a concentrated effort to party and frolick from now until graduation. If you would like some fun advice, I would be more than willing to write you a creative To Do and listen very seriously when you report back to me on your progress. Think that over!
Love, Kelsey
P.S. I do empathize though. 100%
ReplyDelete